What do you think of the beggining of my story? Tips, suggestions, advice, ext. Please answer!?

Chapter 1:


I slowly rolled my eyes open. I found myself very hot and my eyes staring at a bright crimson shade of the sun and a vast field shining through the window. The windows were open, but it was burning in here! Here we were driving to the New York community swimming pool. A hot summer day where everyone here is New York is swimming. But why did I fell asleep? What was taking so long? Why are we not there yet? Oh. I suddenly remembered where I was. Anger rose to my chest again, my teeth clutched together, and my fists closing together. I just wanted to scream! I pulled my shoulder length chestnut-blond colored hair behind my shoulders and gave them a little pull. Sitting in the car going to our new house did not make me happy. Where the heck is Hopewell, Virginia anyway? How can this city were moving to be full of hope!? There is no hope without Kaitlyn. Why did we have to leave Kaitlyn? Kaitlyn Elizabeth Thomson I’ve known forever. We grew up as babies… as toddlers… to kindergarten... and elementary school. Now going to our 8th grade year without each other. Gosh, Kaitlyn is probably even madder for me moving then I am. I laughed at that thought. It seemed to be very true. Kaitlyn came to my house more then any person I know, but she did live next door. She loves dancing, as much as I love to draw. I wonder how my other friends are… Kaitlyn would have never been popular if it were not for me. I loved to talk, but Kaitlyn didn’t. Kaitlyn in New York and I stranded here in Virginia was not where I though we would be a year ago. My mother caught my eye.


“Hi, Adrianne. You feel asleep,” my pregnant mother told me, rubbing her tummy where my future sister, Bethany Allison Locke, is.


My grumpy response was turning away and staring out the window. Out of the country, we turned into an actually city. Houses were near. I saw kids riding their Barbie and Spiderman bikes, houses that were perfect like my New York apartment. I sighed and thought of my old apartment. My perfect apartment with my friends and school and family… Just because of my future baby sister, we had to move.


“A better life for her and us,” my mother described to my brothers and I when we found out we were moving.


My twin brothers, Michael and Carter, suddenly started screaming excitedly when we reached the sign: Hopewell, Virginia. My parents smiled. Marley, my beautiful golden retriever even barked with her head sticking out the window.What do you think of the beggining of my story? Tips, suggestions, advice, ext. Please answer!?
I totally was hocked when i was reading it. I thought it was very good. I love the begging its the part that hocked me the most. I think i would really enjoy reading this story. I hope you finish it. Do you have anymore of it written? Just wondering because i want to read it if you do can you post it up? Maybe you should try another name for the dog so it can be more Original because people are going to think you got it off of Marley and me. So once again i really hope you finish it(=